


My Immortal

by edgeboi



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Poetry, Songfic, Suicide, Tissues will be needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgeboi/pseuds/edgeboi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Jean Valjean ponders the death of Javert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> When I heard this song, I immediately thought of Valjean's inability to save Javert. The lyrics to this song are great, and thus I have incorporated them into this fic. 
> 
> This is the saddest fic that I have ever written. If you wish to make it even sadder, listen to the song while you read it... (I listened to it while writing this and cried, and I do not cry often...)

I stare into the river.  
I cannot believe you are gone.  
It was just yesterday that I saw you.

Back at the barricades,  
You learned that people can change.  
We saw each other  
For who we were.  
For the first time,  
You were afraid.  
I tried to persuade you to leave,  
To live,  
Yet you are gone.

What is destroying me is your confession.  
In Montreuil-sur-Mer, I saw that you took an interest in me.  
When you visited me,  
You removed your shield of indifference  
And were open.  
Then, in that alleyway,  
Behind the barricade,  
You told me that you loved me.  
Why did you not tell me sooner?  
I admit that I felt something for you.  
Yet, I was afraid to tell you  
For the sole reason of safety.  
If we were different men,  
We could have had a relationship.  
We could have grown old together.

Most people do not engage in  
A decades-long game of cat-and-mouse.  
We had our differences.  
Time cannot heal  
Certain things, I suppose.

Our paths have been  
Entwined  
For all these years.  
Fate has been cruel to the both of us.  
At any time,  
I would have been glad to hold your hand  
Through your pain.

I wish I could have done something  
To save you.  
It is difficult to accept your death.  
Though you are gone,   
You are with me in my heart.  
Yet, I am still alone.  
I wish I could have  
Dried the tears that you shed,  
Held you in my arms,  
And most of all,  
Remind you that you are loved.

Whatever you thought of yourself,  
I wished to tell you  
That you have made me a better man.  
Regardless of your parentage,  
You were a good man.  
You were my guiding star.  
Your determination was admirable.  
To see you broken at the barricades  
Terrified me.  
Perhaps that is why I kissed you.  
Did I foresee your death?  
I do not know. 

I feel bound by  
The life you left behind.  
How can I live without you?  
You have been essential  
To my  
Existence.  
The pain of losing you  
Will not heal.  
I will always remember you,  
My love,  
My star,  
My immortal.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for breaking my happy-ish fic streak...


End file.
